I Borg, You Borg, We all Borg for Tuborg

Beer(Lager) is a reliable drink that can bring you right to the front door of buzz and shift you like a lover on more performance enhancing drugs than the Irish Olympic Team; uncaring to how rank you look at the time.
 
On the topic of Lager, the drink that you can keep on drinking. I can't go without mentioning the beacon of hope that is:
TUBORG. The drink that can defy lower-case lettering at will. Danish Kings are rumoured to brew the beer using the teardrops of Norse Gods. I can't possibly stress the glory that is Tuborg enough. In a can, bottle or on draught, other feeble lager cowers in its superiority. The very mention of its name 'causes boring people to bleed out of their foreheads and demand a better life.

Common names: Borg, Tub Orgy, Too-borg, Tuborgé (if you're feeling posh), tub.org, Cyborg, Green Lantern, Liquid Soundtrack, Dinner, Turbo-G, Doleborg, FourBorg, Tubor-G, Tub Or G?, Liquid Lunch, The reason why I couldn't meet you last night.

Quantity: Bottle: 330ml   Can: 500ml   Pint: Don't ask stupid questions
Percentage: 4.0%
Scald Factor: See Below
Taste: 10/10
Value: 8-10/10
           

Scaldiness: One number cannot define this. Ghetto Rich. In the eyes of the beholder: it is reason enough to exist. Although haters do have a tendency to hate.

Taste: It's as if Odin shed tears into the capable hands of Danish Royalty and created new life.
Cold-Room temp: Perfection.
Warm: 8/10 (While it is less pure, the cereal flavouring flows across your taste buds, giving you a rustic quality that is arguably perfection in its own right).

Value: Top notch. Often found at a euro for a can. Fourborg comes in at a fiver and a six pack usually at €7. A pint should cost no more than €3.50. Anything more should be considered blasphemy and is punishable by death or at the very least: a well placed shite in the establishment's urinals.

Tips: If you encounter difficulty drinking this magnificent beverage; you are unworthy of beer consumption and must beg redemption from Hœnir, the Norse god of silence.
Although if you wish to drink it faster: A game of "I'll Drink To That" is always recommended. The rules are simple. You offer cheers and say those beautiful words. Liars have no place at the table/curb/car park when Tuborg is present; so you must drink to that or face an eternal conversation with Hœnir.
When the phrase is in yer head, it's not long before you have an outburst and...y'know...drink to it (or that).

Buzz Summary: Being a lager, you can have a range of buzzes from Having a few quiet drinks (4 max) and Drinkin'.
Drinkin' consists of anything from making a mess & having a laugh to making a show of yourself & having a seizure. Rowdiness is a given. The chances of arriving home with traffic cones is astronomical and drunk texts are guaranteed to make even the dullest of créatúrs have a briefly more entertaining life.
Balance can be shaken but in many cases Jenga is still a possibility.
Vision is impaired in the presence of trolls; and cameras(but not mirrors) will show evidence of squinting.

Prost, Na Zdravi, Sláinte agus Táinte & Get That Into Yeh.